Licensed psychologist
I'm José Villalba Jorquera, a licensed psychologist (no. M-XXXXX), with a regulated practice bound by the code of ethics and professional secrecy.
Psychologist for self-esteem in Toledo
Self-esteem and emotional dependency in Toledo
When your worth depends on how others see you, you live under constant tension. If you struggle to set boundaries, need constant approval or stay in relationships that hurt you, it can change. I support you to rebuild your self-esteem in Toledo and online.
Do you recognise this?
Do you recognise yourself in this?
Low self-esteem and emotional dependency often go together: when you don't value yourself, you let others decide how much you're worth. If you recognise yourself in several of these signs, it can be worked on.
- You need other people's approval to feel good.
- You find it hard to say no and end up giving in even when you don't want to.
- You fear abandonment and do whatever it takes so no one leaves you.
- You erase yourself in the relationship: their plans, their tastes, their mood come first.
- You speak harshly to yourself and take for granted that you're not enough.
- You stay in relationships that hurt you because you're afraid of being alone.
Your worth doesn't depend on someone else confirming it. Self-esteem can be rebuilt, and with it the freedom to choose relationships that add to your life.
What we work on
Self-esteem, dependency and relationships
Low self-esteem and insecurity
That inner voice telling you that you're not worth it, that you don't measure up, that they'll find out you're not enough. We work on the origin of that self-demand and you learn to see yourself more fairly.
Emotional dependency
When the relationship becomes the centre of everything and the fear of losing it makes you erase yourself. You learn to hold yourself up from within and to love without stopping being you.
Toxic relationships and breaking the bond
Recognising a dynamic that hurts you and gathering the strength to set boundaries or leave it. A space to decide without guilt and without rushing.
Assertiveness and boundaries
Learning to say what you think and to set boundaries without feeling bad or breaking the bond. Assertiveness is trained, it isn't a matter of character.
What therapy is like
How we rebuild your self-esteem
It's not about repeating "love yourself more". It's about understanding where that insecurity comes from and rebuilding, step by step, a healthier relationship with yourself.
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We understand your story
We see how that way of valuing yourself formed and what keeps it going today. Understanding it takes away guilt and gives you a starting point.
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Tools to value yourself and set boundaries
You learn to speak to yourself differently, to set boundaries assertively and to tolerate the discomfort of saying no.
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Relationships from freedom
You build a self-esteem that doesn't depend on anyone, so you can choose relationships that add to your life and let go of the ones that drain it.
What you'll gain
Trusting yourself again
- You regain confidence in yourself, without depending on others' approval.
- You learn to set boundaries without feeling guilty.
- You stop erasing yourself in your relationships.
- You move past the fear of abandonment and of being alone.
- You speak to yourself with more kindness and less demand.
- You choose healthy relationships from desire, not from fear.
First orientation session
Start choosing yourself, today
You don't have to keep putting yourself last. Book your first session and we'll start rebuilding your self-esteem, in Toledo or in online therapy.
Why choose me
Why work on your self-esteem with me
Training & experience
Graduate of Universidad Pontificia de Comillas, with +XX years supporting people to rebuild their self-esteem and leave relationships of dependency, with a close and integrative approach.
A close approach, no labels
I treat you as a unique person, not a diagnosis. You talk directly with me, with no middlemen or endless waiting lists.
Format
In person in Toledo and online psychologist for self-esteem
You can come to my practice in Toledo, a space of trust, or have your sessions as an online psychologist for self-esteem from wherever you are.
Online therapy by video call is just as effective as in person for most people and gives you the comfort of working from your own safe space. You choose the format.
See the practice & directionsFrequently asked questions
Common questions about self-esteem and dependency
Can self-esteem change in adulthood?
Yes. Self-esteem isn't a fixed trait you're born with: it's a learned way of valuing yourself, so it can be relearned at any age. With work and the right tools, it changes.
How do I know if I have emotional dependency?
Some signs are an intense fear of abandonment, erasing yourself so the other person won't leave, needing their constant approval and staying in relationships that hurt you. If you recognise yourself, it can be worked on.
Do I have to end my relationship?
Therapy doesn't decide that, you do. My role is to help you see the relationship clearly, recover your own judgement and strength, and make the decision, whatever it is, from freedom and not from fear.
Isn't setting boundaries selfish?
No. Setting boundaries is caring for yourself and, in the long run, it also cares for the bond. Assertiveness lets you defend what's yours while respecting the other person. It's learned and doesn't break healthy relationships: it improves them.
Does online self-esteem therapy work?
Yes. Working on self-esteem and emotional dependency online is just as effective as in person, and many people open up better from their own safe space. Sessions are by video call and confidential.
How much does a session cost?
You can check the current fees for the individual session and the first orientation session on the fees page (in Spanish).
Keep exploring
Resources that may help you
Couples therapy
If the problem affects your relationship, see how I work with couples therapy.
Couples therapy →Anxiety and mood
Insecurity often comes with anxiety or low mood. Find out how I treat it.
Psychologist for anxiety →From the blog
What emotional dependency is and how to start moving beyond it.
Read the article →Where to find me
Psychologist in the centre of Toledo
In-person practice in the centre of Toledo and online therapy across Spain. Here is where to find me.
Take the first step
Reclaim your worth
You don't have to keep depending on others to tell you how much you're worth. Write to me and let's talk about how I can support you to rebuild your self-esteem.
Book your first session